Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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