just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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