I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
