I cockslap morals
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Randomize
