Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
