That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
