arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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