Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
hell yes lets make some ravioli
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Randomize
