I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
