if you like me you must not know who I am
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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