Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
