If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I have post one night stand depression
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
