he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
