so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
