her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
