My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
