the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
