They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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