There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
