we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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