hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
