I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
