i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
