Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
