omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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