I need help removing her.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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