I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
