apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
