I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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