We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
