WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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