A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Someone shattered a urinal.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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