He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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