some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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