I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Randomize
