it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
