Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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