He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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