nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
