I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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