North Korea, Best Korea!
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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