one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
