If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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