he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Don't tell me you're on acid again
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
