Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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