this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
she looked like the before picture.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
