she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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