Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
