She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
