Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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