Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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