some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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